by Jim Thomas
This special someone had once stood by me and journeyed with me through the tough times. She had seen me at my finest and my worst, never complaining and always giving her best. Never once did she let me down as she followed my journey of high-speed youth. No one could have asked for more but destinies are not always the same and I moved on to conquer the world. Eventually, the memory of her was safely buried deep under a mountain of others. Well, I thought it was safely buried.
Now the memory had changed from an occasional pang of hurt to a festering wound and needed rapid resolution. The sophomoric idea of finding her tugged at my heart until my mind surrendered the idea, kicking and screaming with words of caution and examples of past failures. Mind over matter looks good on paper and in the books but history has proven that the mind is no match for confrontations with the heart.
But how does one go about finding that lost love from the foggy swamp of the past? I began my questionable quest with email to folks that had known both of us. Several responses were not bashful in their description of my mental state and my lack of having a meaningful purpose in life. There were many hours of Internet searches, phone calls and letters that came to nothing but the renewal of many old acquaintances.
Then, out of the electronic blue, one of the shotgun email bets paid off when a partner in crime, war and love responded he had seen her in Minnesota a few years ago. They had crossed paths at the airport and spent a few minutes together talking about the old times. He could not shut up about how fine she looked with all the right curves in the right places, etc., so I put him on the spam filter list for a while.
Finding her had not been an easy quest but sometimes persistence pays off if you throw in a little luck. But, persistence does not do anything for the fear of the unknown in meeting someone from the past that was close to the heart. Seeing her and talking to her and touching her and all of those wanton wants took possession of what minimum mind that I had left until the realization that resistance is futile. With thoughts of the old adage that “there is no fool like an fool” I set about making the arrangements to see her.
It was slow arriving but today I would see her, talk to her and hopefully mend the broken fences of my past petulance. I wondered how she would look? Had time been kind to her? Was her life a good one? Is there really such a thing as forgiveness by those once scorned? Would the old magic still be there? Timeless questions but as current and real as a phone call at three in the morning.
The best place to meet someone when there might be a confrontation or an emotional display is to meet on neutral ground and in public. I thought the airport best fit that bill and proceeded making all the necessary plans.
The big day and moment arrived somehow after agonizing clock-watching; partially validating Einstein’s theory that time can be slowed. I saw her first, far across the lobby. My heart almost stopped for good and tears formed in my eyes. There was no way to hold back the emotions and I hoped no one would notice but I was past the point of no return. The emotion and feelings from over the years came too fast. All I could do was stumble toward her.
I reached out, forty years were gone and we were together again. Thousands of memories flooded my mind and senses. There had been times of joy, times of fear, and times of sadness. We had experienced it all, the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
She had fared well over the years. In fact she had aged better than I had. She had a beautiful home and a large family. We talked some but I don’t remember much about what was said. All too soon it was time to leave. We made our peace in those brief moments and this goodbye was a lot different than the previous one.
Walking away was even tougher this time. I turned for one more look at her. My buddy was right; she looked much better than the last time I saw her. But the leaving had to be done.
My eyes were misty and on shaky legs I made my retreat. We could not be together. Too much time had gone by and too much had changed. She would always be special to me and occupy a big piece of my heart. I turned and waved another goodbye to OV-1A 60-3736. She, the special someone, was a Phantom Hawk airplane that I had flown in Vietnam some thirty-seven years ago. Both of us had made it safely home. Everything in our relationship was right once again.
Copyright 2007 Jim Thomas
Editor’s note: Jim Thomas served in the 225th SAC, RVN '70 - '71; 131st MICAS, RVN '74 - '75; 13th Avn Bn, 131st MICAS '75 - '77; and the Georgia National Guard ’77- ’87.
The Mohawk pictured above is the aircraft to which Jim is referring in his story; Terry Carlson recently sent us these photos. Thanks very much, Terry! Here's Jim's note to Terry: "Greetings Terry! Many thanks for the photos. 23 (formation shot) was an OV-1A, had a frame number of 60-03736 and survived the war. It is in the American Wings Museum in MN. It also is one of the decal sets in the Roden 1/48 JOV-1A plastic model kits. However the colors are not accurate for what we were using in 70-71 when 23 was in the unit. This is the airplane that I was writing about in the article on Gordy's site. Best regards to all you brothers, (signed) JT"
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